レンタルおにいちゃん Volume 2

[ChristopherFritz]

Changes from Pixiv Original to Commercial Release

This post covers changes in the second third of chapter 9, as it went from original Pixiv release to commercial release.

Page 127

Minor dialogue changes. An あげる was removed, as well as a って.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「責めないであげて慎が悪いって訳・じゃないの…」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「責めないで・・・慎が悪い・・わけじゃないの…」

Page 128

A それで was added to the start of Misuzu’s dialogue.

Likewise, an 今の was added here.

Page 129

Slight modification to give Daigo more of a dialect.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「あいつ 独り で笑えないままになってまうやん…！」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「あいつ ひとりで笑えん ままになってまうやん…！」

Page 130

This line was adjusted a bit.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「あの目のわけが」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「あの目は」

Daigo’s line here was fairly rewritten.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「やっとわかった…！」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「そういうことやったんか…！」

Page 133

Minor change.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「さっきは何・も知らずに怒ってほんまごめん」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「さっきはなんも知らんと怒ってほんまごめん」

Page 134

The dialogue here was reworded a bit.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「誰かと仲良くなっても・・・・…って」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「・・・仲良くなっても無駄じゃ…って」

Page 137

Was this a typo (missing kanji) in the original?

Ｐｉｘｖ：「傷つけるのも・つけられるのも怖いから」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「傷つけるのも傷つけられるのも怖いから」

Page 139

Makoto’s dialogue was rearranged a little.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「傷つけてるって気付けなくて今まで・ごめん」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「・・・・今まで気づけなくて傷つけてごめん」

Page 140

Minor changes here:

Ｐｉｘｖ：「あんなに冷たくしたのにここまで俺に言ってくれた人」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「あんなに冷たくしたのにここまで俺に言ってくれたの」

Ｐｉｘｖ：「・・・初めてだった」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「お前が初めてだった」

From apology to gratitude.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「本当にごめん」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「本当にありがとう」

[kousei22]

That was such an emotional and thrilling end of chapter!! Maybe it´s due to the fact that it´s my first Japanese manga, but I feel like the more we progress with the book, the more my reading abilities grow and the more I can enjoy the actual content! However, I´ve still got two questions:

Page 147

ありがとう…お願いね

おう

It may be a silly question, but what´s that おう there? Is it some kind of interjection similar to the ほら in the handwritten text?

Page 151

今叶実ちゃんに聞いた話が面白くてさ, なんや気になる!

The latter part in bold is what I can´t make 100%. I would have expected a question because of Kanami´s reply あのね, but it seems it isn´t. I´m now thinking something like Daigo saying:

The story you´ve heard now is (so) interesting and how much does it catch my eye!

I guess the plain form is a hint that 話が気になる it´s a constant state related either to Daigo or to Kanami. If I was sure it´s not a question, I´d incline towards the former. However, since Kanami replies, I´m not sure by any means.

Many thanks in advance!!

[ChristopherFritz]

Page 147

@kousei22

It may be a silly question, but what´s that おう there? Is it some kind of interjection similar to the ほら in the handwritten text?

I don’t know if there’s any dialect involved (if this kind of response is common for where Daigo’s from), but I take it as just an affirmative response, where we might say “no problem” in English.

Page 151

@kousei22

今叶実ちゃんに聞いた話が面白くてさ, なんや気になる !

The important part here is that we have two different speakers.

You may have noticed some set phrases in Japanese. If not, you’ll encounter them eventually. Common ones include:

When someone leaves home, they say いってきます, and the people still at home respond with いってらしゃい.

When someone returns home, they say ただいま, and the people who were already home respond with おかえり.

Here, when Makoto and Daigo return, we see dialogue starting with 「おかえり！」 As per what I wrote above, we know this cannot be Makoto or Daigo speaking. It has to be either Misuzu or Kanami. The further dialogue in the same word balloon makes it clear that it’s Misuzu talking.

How is your reading of that panel impacted when you read the lines as Misuzu speaking, then Daigo, then Kanami? Does that change your outcome? If you’re still unsure, let me know and I can go deeper into it.

[kousei22]

@ChristopherFritz

When someone returns home, they say ただいま, and the people who were already home respond with おかえり.

@ChristopherFritz

How is your reading of that panel impacted when you read the lines as Misuzu speaking, then Daigo, then Kanami? Does that change your outcome? If you’re still unsure, let me know and I can go deeper into it.

Ahh, of course, now it definitely makes sense!! I knew about the おかえり but I had messed up its meaning, thinking it was the other way round (the person who came back ought to say it). That´s why the sentence didn´t make sense at all. Also I´ve just noticed that it´s 叶実ちゃんに, not 叶実ちゃんが, which also makes my past translation grammatically impossible.

Many thanks for your help!!

[ChristopherFritz]

@kousei22

I knew about the おかえり but I had messed up its meaning, thinking it was the other way round (the person who came back ought to say it).

I used to have this problem until I saw episode 2 of Ojamajo Doremi. In this epsiode, Doremi uses her witch magic to swap places with her friend from school. In one scene, Doremi (appearing as her friend) enters her friend’s home without knowing quite what to expect:

[kousei22]

Spot on

[ChristopherFritz]

Changes from Pixiv Original to Commercial Release

Getting to this one a day early this time. This post covers changes in the final third of chapter 9, as it went from original Pixiv release to commercial release.

Page 142

Makoto’s dialogue was reworded, but it’s still essentially the same meaning.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「父さんの関係を良くしようと必死に向き合った」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「父さんとの関係を良くするために向き合った」

Pages 143–145

Two things are going on here.

First, a change in Makoto’s dialogue:

Ｐｉｘｖ：「あのまま何も出来ずにいたら父さんの死後きっと後悔してたと思う」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「……これが俺の昔の話だよ」

Originally, Makoto says he would have regretted if he didn’t make amends with his father. In the commercial realize, this was changed to Makoto saying that this is the story of his past.

Secondly, originally the panel is followed with Kanami saying 「叶実も…」 For the commercial release, this panel here was replaced with a close-up of her eye. The following two pages are new content for the manga, ending with a 「叶実も…」 panel.

Page 146

Kanami’s dialogue was condensed a bit. The contents of her second dialogue balloon were removed, possibly because it’s inconsistent with her line at the end of the chapter.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「お兄ちゃんのことで後悔したくないから頑張ってる…！ レンタルおにいちゃんと一緒だ！」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「お兄ちゃんのこと諦めたり後悔したくない！」

On the same page, Makoto’s dialogue was redone.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「その思いはきっと無駄にならないから」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「俺は叶実の気持ちを応援するよ」

Page 149

Minor change, with 「父さんと」 added in, possibly to make it more clear what he’s referring to.

「分かり合う」 simplified to 「それ」.

A couple of changes:

Ｐｉｘｖ：「その恐怖が拭えなくて」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「そう考えると」

Ｐｉｘｖ：「何か出来てたらって…今になって思うよ」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「何かできてたら…って今もずっと後悔してる」

A panel showing Kanami from page 79 (in a chapter that was written specifically for the commercial release) was added, tying in with the reason behind Makoto’s words.

Makoto’s dialogue was added to here.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「だから叶実が・・・・・・・・・・・・・・諦めない限りはその気持ちを応援したいと思う」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「だから叶実ちゃんには後悔してほしくない。諦めない限りはその気持ちを応援したい」

Page 150

I feel like the author just wanted to rewrite everything about this part of the chapter.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「俺がレンタルを通して与えるものが偽りでも叶実の希望になるならそれでいいと思ってる」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「だからさっきの嘘もこのレンタルもあの子の希望になるならそれでいいと思ってる」

(Thanks to the Copyfish browser extension for helping me with some of that kanji. I always forget 与, and I haven’t learned 偽 yet.)

Page 151

The end of Misuzu’s line changed from 「て…」 to 「てさ」.

That’s all. No massive changes to her dialogue.

Page 154

Kanami’s response changed from 「うん！」 to 「はい！」.

Kanami’s dialogue was reworded a little:

Ｐｉｘｖ：「おにいちゃん今日はありがとう！」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「・・・・・・今日はありがとうございました」

And a です was added for politeness.

Page 155

Another slight rewording for Kanami:

Ｐｉｘｖ：「あとね・おにいちゃん」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「それからおにいちゃん」

Page 156

And a final slight rewording for the cliffhanger:

Ｐｉｘｖ：「・・・レンタルをやめようと思う・・の…！」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「叶実、レンタル・やめようと思います・…！」

Chapter 9 (original 5) ~fin~

[ChristopherFritz]

Week 10: Pages 159–178

Start Date: 2021-01-22T15:00:00Z

That last page felt like is should have been an end-of-volume cliffhanger, didn’t it?

The page count is a bit high this week and next, at 20 pages each, but there are a lot of pages with little to no dialogue, so it’ll feel more like 13 to 14 pages each week.

Vocabulary List

Page Numbers Guide (thumbnail spoilers)

Participation

Mark your participation status by voting in this poll.
(You can change your answer later if you’d like.)

• I’m reading along.
• I have finished this part.

Volume 3 Prep

Enough readers would like to continue with two chapters per week, so I’ll schedule volume 3 to run for 10 weeks (five chapters at two weeks each).

But when shall we start?

Volume 2 wraps up on February 4th. At that time, we can jump right into volume 3, or take a short break.

When would you like to begin volume 3?

• Begin February 5th (no break)
• Begin February 12 (one week break)
• Begin February 19 (two week break)
• Any time is fine by me

I imagine most people who bought volume 2 (physical) bought volumes 3 and 4 at the same time. For those who haven’t, now might be a good time to place an order! If there are any issues getting a copy delivered on time, the full volume (commercial release) is still available to read for free on Pixiv, but that may change later.

[kousei22]

My, I was so engaged in the reading that when I looked up a second to see up to what page we were supposed to read this week I had gone up to 185 This was a pretty smooth week! I was so thinking Kazutaka was going to give us a bit of hope, but it seems we ended up again in tears… I hope the author keeps giving us more small hints of what´s going on in his mind, so complex.

Just one question so far for me:

Page 161

叶実ちゃんがそうしたいなら

I know なら is used in conditionals that don´t follow the strict たら rule (clause 1…then clause 2). For instance, this sentence:

If I went to Japan, I would buy a big suitcase (Because clause 2 doesn´t follow clause 1 temporally, it´s the other way round)

However, what Makoto says, even though one maybe could translate it as “If that´s what you want…” doesn´t stick in my head like a pure conditional (maybe I´m totally wrong here), although it of course has the nuance. I´ve seen in Jisho that なら is also recorded as “if it´s the case that”. Is it working here maybe as a fixed expression with this nuance, or is there some actual conditional grammar here?

Many thanks in advance!

[2OC3aOdKgwSGlxfz]

@kousei22

Page 161

叶実ちゃんがそうしたい なら

I know なら is used in conditionals that don´t follow the strict たら rule (clause 1…then clause 2). For instance, this sentence:

If I went to Japan, I would buy a big suitcase (Because clause 2 doesn´t follow clause 1 temporally, it´s the other way round)

However, what Makoto says, even though one maybe could translate it as “If that´s what you want…” doesn´t stick in my head like a pure conditional (maybe I´m totally wrong here), although it of course has the nuance.

I’m not sure I understand your question… you seem to imply that you believe that Makoto is using “A なら B” in a way in which B precedes in time to A, which I don’t quite see happening.

Makoto is saying A なら (B), where B is implicit from context (as in, if Kanami wants (to stop doing the rentals), then (he’s fine with that / he will stop)). B here is certainly something that will happen depending on the supposition A, which is how なら is normally used.

I guess the biggest difference between たら and なら is that たら can be used with both elements A and B in the past tense.

先生に聞いたらすぐに分かった
When I asked the teacher, I immediately understood.

That sentence cannot use なら, not because of any time restrictions, but because なら implicitly requires that A is a supposition of something we don’t know for sure. In that sentence, we already know that I asked the teacher, so there’s no supposition.

I hope this helps!

[ChristopherFritz]

@kousei22

when I looked up a second to see up to what page we were supposed to read this week I had gone up to 185

Do you not know how much effort went into finding the perfect point to split this chapter into two weeks??? (Just kidding. It was totally effortless due to the scene change halfway through.)

I like the week ending with a dialogue-less page 178, because it not only gives a nice rest at the end, but it also nicely shows the importance sound effects can have on a scene.

[kousei22]

@2OC3aOdKgwSGlxfz

I’m not sure I understand your question…

In fact I explained myself pretty poorly. Many thanks for making the effort to understand!

@2OC3aOdKgwSGlxfz

That sentence cannot use なら, not because of any time restrictions, but because なら implicitly requires that A is a supposition of something we don’t know for sure. In that sentence, we already know that I asked the teacher, so there’s no supposition.

Ahh, now I get it! I forgot that なら also was used in situations such as "Given the context of (A)…(B). Also, thanks for highlighting the specific double past たら trait, it really helped.

Since I read in the DBJG (Dictionary of Basic Japanese Grammar) and in Japanese Ammo with Misa that たら couldn´t be used in the sentence I quoted:

[“If I went to Japan, I would buy a big suitcase”]

because clause 2 didn´t follow clause 1 temporally, I confused myself and restricted the なら usage to those types of sentences, In fact, in her video of なら, Japanese Ammo with Misa sets an example almost identical in structure to the one in our book:

“If you say so Senpai, I´ll do it”

Anyway, many thanks for clarifying!

[kousei22]

@ChristopherFritz

because it not only gives a nice rest at the end, but it also nicely shows the importance sound effects can have on a scene.

Definitely! A picture is worth a thousand words…

[ChristopherFritz]

Week 11: Pages 179–198

Start Date: 2021-01-29T15:00:00Z

Final week of volume 2! After, it looks like we’ll probably have a one week break before opening volume 3.

Vocabulary List

Page Numbers Guide (thumbnail spoilers)

Participation

Mark your participation status by voting in this poll.
(You can change your answer later if you’d like.)

• I’m reading along.
• I have finished this part.

[ChristopherFritz]

Pixiv to Commercial Changes

There weren’t too many dialogue changes in the first half of chapter 10. A couple of Kanami’s 「うん」 became 「はい」 to be less informal when talking with Makoto. She also had some outfit changes along the way.

Page 160

Not a dialogue change, but Kanami’s pose was modified.

This panel’s dialogue was swapped with a panel on the next page.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「叶実はまだ昔のおにいちゃんみたいに頑張れたいって思ったの」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「叶実も自分の力でもっと頑張りたいって思ったんです」

Page 161

This whole page had minor rewrites, so no images here, just the text.

Panel 2

Ｐｉｘｖ：「ひとりで本当に大丈夫？」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「・・・・本当に大丈夫？」

Panel 4

Here’s the panel that was swapped with on the prior page.

Ｐｉｘｖ：「うん 決めたから 自分の力でやってみるよ」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「はい 決めたから おにいちゃんみたいに頑張ります！」

Panel 6

Ｐｉｘｖ：「・・絶対に無理しちゃ駄目だよ」
Ｃｏｍｍ：「ただ絶対に無理しちゃだめだよ」

Page 164

New angle, and (more importantly) some “school’s out for the day” dialogue was added.

Page 168

Looks like Kazutaka ran out of clean socks between prints. Might be why Kanami decided to do a load of laundry later.

Page 171

Outfit change for Kanami.

Page 177

And one more outfit change. This outfit change extends throughout the rest of the chapter.

Bonus

Here’s the original chapter title page, for Pixiv release chapter 6.

[2OC3aOdKgwSGlxfz]

I thought about this last week too, but I am still puzzled.

I find it strange that Kanami’s take from hearing about Oniichan’s past is that she has to work harder alone. I mean, it seems to me pretty straightforward from the story that Oniichan was able to change his attitude and try to get along with his father, precisely because he had friends supporting him. Why would she conclude that she needs to stop relying to Oniichan and attempt to solve her family situation by herself?

[ChristopherFritz]

My take on this aspect is that Makoto’s friends helped un-gloom him, and then un-gloomed Makoto reconciled with his father on his own. Following that logic, since Makoto has helped keep Kanami from going the gloom route, she is now equipped to go down the road of reconciling with her brother on her own.

[kousei22]

Wow, what a climax!! I´m gobsmacked The more pages we read, the more I´m becoming a first line Makoto fan. A couple of questions for this week!

Page 196

ずっととは言わないから

The grammar beneath that とは is confusing me…especially because it follows an adverb. Is it a regular quotation marker? As in:

“I´m not saying [doing the rental] the whole way” ?

Grammar question

This is more of a general grammar-nuance-cultural thing. I´ve noticed that in this part of the chapter there has been a beautiful combination of て patterns with both くれる and もらう. My question is about the nuances between one or the other when considering not only viewpoint, but also emotional context. For instance, this sentence on p. 189:

ただ普通に俺を頼ってくれていい

Could it be rewritten with もらう to convey a less “passionate-spontaneous-emotional” nuance? Or, in other words, is the use of てくれる here also used because it channels better Makoto´s emotions? Or, in another rewording, is くれる more “direct” than もらう because of the viewpoint?

I may be saying absolute nonsense here, so please forgive these quite philosophical-linguistic free thoughts, all of this was just nagging me and I wanted to share it with you to see if I´m off my mind or not. Please feel free to tell me to explain myself better if needed.

Page 187

お兄ちゃんが遠くなってくの

Is the highlighted てく a contracted version of ていく?

P.S: Having finished volume 2, I´d like at this point to express my deepest gratitude to everyone who made it possible, especially @ChristopherFritz for setting up the thread, coordinating the reading schedule and giving such brilliant and detailed answers. The latter also goes to @2OC3aOdKgwSGlxfz and @BarelyFragile, with whom I´m also in great debt thanks to their no less brilliant contributions. And, overall, to all the readers and 質問者 who make this happen.

See you in volume 3!!

[2OC3aOdKgwSGlxfz]

@kousei22

Page 196

ずっと とは 言わないから

The grammar beneath that とは is confusing me…especially because it follows an adverb. Is it a regular quotation marker? As in:

“I´m not saying [doing the rental] the whole way” ?

I am not completely sure, but I do believe this is the quotation marker と. は is marking that quotation as the topic of the sentence. My attempt at translating would be something like:

I won’t say “(I’ll rent your time) For a long time”.

I believe “long time” fits here a bit better than “all the way”, considering what he explains in the next page (That he’ll only do it until the money he received from her runs out).

@kousei22

I´ve noticed that in this part of the chapter there has been a beautiful combination of て patterns with both くれる and もらう. My question is about the nuances between one or the other when considering not only viewpoint, but also emotional context. For instance, this sentence on p. 189 :

ただ普通に俺を頼ってくれていい

Could it be rewritten with もらう to convey a less “passionate-spontaneous-emotional” nuance? Or, in other words, is the use of てくれる here also used because it channels better Makoto´s emotions? Or, in another rewording, is くれる more “direct” than もらう because of the viewpoint?

As you mention, the viewpoints are different (A is giving B vs B is receiving from A). This change in viewpoint changes a lot of the emphasis, specially regarding who’s getting a benefit from the action.

In the example sentence you give, if we swap things around to use もらう, we don’t quite get the same meaning.

In the original sentence, the subject is Kanami, the action is “to give” and the receiver is Makoto. The いい at the end marks the action (in this case giving) as something that is good.

If we move this around and make Makoto the subject of the sentence, the action is “to receive” and Kanami is the giver. This makes いい at the end mark receiving as the good thing.

俺を頼ってくれていい => it’s okay (for you) to give me (your reliance)
俺を頼ってもらっていい => It’s okay (for me) to receive (your reliance).

This completely shifts the focus of the sentence from Kanami having a benefit (the benefit of having someone to rely on) to Makoto having a benefit (of being relied upon). Keep in mind that てもらう also implicitly means that the receiver is getting a benefit, so this emphasizes the benefit for Makoto even more.

It would be very strange for Makoto to say things this way. In this scene, Makoto is trying to convince Kanami of something. To convince her, he’s trying to show there’s a benefit for her. If he talked as if he would the one that receives a benefit, it’d feel very off.

@kousei22

Page 187

お兄ちゃんが遠くなっ てく の

Is the highlighted てく a contracted version of ていく?

Yes, that’s how I interpret that てく too.

[kousei22]

Many thanks @2OC3aOdKgwSGlxfz for all your detailed breakdown! However, my head is still fuming with one thing

@2OC3aOdKgwSGlxfz

In the original sentence, the subject is Kanami, the action is “to give” and the receiver is Makoto. The いい at the end marks the action (in this case giving ) as something that is good.

@2OC3aOdKgwSGlxfz

This completely shifts the focus of the sentence from Kanami having a benefit (the benefit of having someone to rely on)

Since Makoto is the one receiving but Kanami is the one having the benefit, how is てくれる even possible? There´s still a viewpoint conflict in my head